Right, well, I’ve been putting off posting this out of nervousness and all that jazz, but here it goes, as it is Asexual Awareness Week, this is my asexual story.
I have been careful to remove any ‘adult terms’ and have tired to keep it as PG13 as I could, but, some may slip through, so please, read at your own will, but you have been warned.
I as a then 18 year old male, was relieved to find out that there was a word for me, I should, really started this at when I discovered the word, but instead I think I’ll start it before.
This shall start around age 13, when a friend of mine whispered to me about how he had secretly indulged in some overaged porn the night before, and everything ‘woke up‘, I remember not quite understanding what he meant, I had never experienced anything of the sort, so of course initiated The Porn Experiment, needless to say the test came back unsuccessful, there was an error within the results, but, as I was 13 it meant nothing to me, it was just an unsuccessful experiment, which I never ever shared with said friend, and never will, as that friend stopped the whole friend thing when we were 17, and I was still a virgin, which to him, was not cool, at all.
I was around 16 when I realised there was genuinely no sex drive there, I was staying at a friends, who was very excited about the idea of sleeping with his girlfriend at the time. I didn’t see the attractiveness in it, so I asked ‘Why is it so exciting?” He however, didn’t have a reply, he genuinely didn’t know, and after thinking about it for a while came up with ‘I thought you where supposed to be excited about sex.‘ I told him I wasn’t, and that became the saga which is known as ‘When Finlay lost his sex drive.’
I came out as gay when I was 17, I thought that would be the answer to all my problems, but if anything it was the start of more. The idea of sex had become a big part of my friends lives, and they persuaded it, to which I have no problem, but I became known amongst the clubs we hopped as the prude, the guy who wouldn’t put out, soon guys just stopped asking me, and I liked it that way, I could go out with my friends, have a drink then go home alone. I enjoyed that, and my friends didn’t care if I’d hooked up or not, as I was not their main priority.
Asexuality made itself known to me about 18 months ago, on a Facebook scroll, one of my friends had shared a post about asexuality and it caught my eye, so I researched it, I really researched it, and it hit me like a fucking train, everything just began to make sense, everything fell into place, I was asexual.
I was a homoromantic asexual.
asexual.co.uk 